I finally had to vent on this topic. The current state of the male population most often makes me sad to be associated with it. My facebook profile always has an image that I’ve shot, and generally isn’t of me. That means that my profile pic (with all of my gallery images) are of different women. What this means is that I fend off horrible attempts at pick-up lines daily.
Guys: step up your game, because you’re embarrassing the rest of us.
Try chatting with someone first. I’ve literally had guys say “text me” and give me a number within 2 exchanges. Right. What would a woman’s inspiration be to text you? Your stellar competence with the English language? The fact you chatted with her? Your “game?”
And most importantly, read profiles. I’m a guy. It’s clearly stated in my profile. Same goes for married women. Leave them the hell alone, they’re beautiful and trying to build a fan base and network. I’m quite positive “I’d tap dat” isn’t going to sway them out of their current relationship, so don’t even bother.
It is totally possible to build a friendship (sometimes even a relationship) with a model that you admire, but like any relationship, it can take time. Go ahead and tell them you think they’re beautiful, that they look fantastic in an outfit, or that they have a certain look you admire. Don’t cross the line into creepy. If you message them daily and they don’t respond, GIVE UP. For whatever reason, they are not interested in chatting with you. Deal with that and quit bothering them. They have no interest in hearing how horny you make them, or the not-as-creative-as-you-think-things-you’ll do to her. Step this one up as well, gentlemen. You’re quite a ways away from writing for Penthouse Letters, let me tell you. Be polite: it’s another human being on the other computer, not some sort of automated sex machine.
You can follow this all the way through pin-up models to porn stars. I follow a few porn stars that I admire or hope to shoot in the future. You know which posts they respond to? The ones that are polite and sound like someone interested in a human being. Not the replies about your rocket, Jing Jang, Lollypop, Pocket Piccolo, or Trouser Anaconda (whether or not you don’t want none). Even porn stars have written on the topic. My friend Louise Lemans (http://louiselemans.com) shared a similar article written by Stoya with me. I’m not going to re-hash or reword it, but I’m saying the same thing from a male perspective. You can find that post here: Jezebel Blog
I’ve even had some guys attempt to justify this type of behavior, because that is the way society is, or that because women (or photographers) post sexy photos online, they should just expect that kind of response. This isn’t true at all, and only highlights the supreme level of douchebaggery involved in such posts. Re-read my previous paragraphs if you still don’t get it.
I’m also surprised at the number of models that are shocked about how professional and “not creepy” I am. That may be another post written specifically to photographers. Look for that to come.
So if you’re enthralled (or engorged) by someone online, please remember that these women are human beings, worthy of your respect regardless of the amount of clothing they may or not be wearing. Think about this post when you go to message them, and how what you’re saying reflects on you.
If that doesn’t work, think about the fact that you may be messaging a 6’5″ dude about what I’m doing for the quality of your doodaddy. And mocking you the whole time.